Good evening!
Cinders here, mother, momma, boss, mom and ma'.
I thought I would write more later (i.e. tomorrow) but I just am too excited to tell you.
When I came back from my mini mission, I tried going back to LUKIO (senior high here in Finland) but the illness had taken over. It was my first psychosis. I needed to go to the mental hospital here near where I live. I ended up spending eight months there.
One thing that helped me through that time was the missionaries visits. They visited EVERY WEEK. They did indeed not miss one single week. I am so grateful! I have some pictures from that time and they always make me cry. I remember the way I felt, or how numb and weird I felt. They gave me a lot of medicine. Nowadays I still have medicine but they are a lot more modern.
Once I remember dreaming or just hearing "in my mind" how the missionaries sang to me. They did often sing to me. Nowadays I mostly hear them play the piano when they visit me or at the church. I started teaching myself to play the piano when I was 16 and started taking lessons at the age of 38-39.
We experienced some really amazing spiritual moments as well as funny ones during my time in the hospital. I got blessings, we prayed together and once four elders caught me frogs I could kiss. For the record: I did not :D (Frogs are not my favorites)
I usually try to tell the current missionaries a little about my mental health problems I have had. They can maybe understand me a little better. I always want to get to know them too. I make a point of trying be a considerate mom and listen and support them. I like them so so much. They are my anti-depressants and they have helped me a lot.
I try to explain to someone who is curious why I have a strong bond with most missionaries. In the midst of my most difficult time in my entire life, they were there. They were real when my mind did not know what was real. They were and are my angels.
More later!
p.s. Don't worry, I will not run out of topics for this blog lol :D
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